Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Where Am I? Who am I?

It's been a while and a lot has happened since the last blog. Well I am continuing to train for upcoming races, I won a race and I spent some time in court. Is it not funny how life is like rain? You really never know when it's going to fall down on you. The 1st 21 years of my life were an emotional rollercoaster and a year and a half ago I said that it stops here, no more abuse no more guilt, I am going to be the man that God intended for me to be. I have not talked to my parents in that 18 months, but we were on the verge of trying to work on things and that's when the rain began to fall, the last 2 experiences that I will remember about my stepfather were both violent and the latter involved physically assaulting my wife. I gave my mom from birth the ultimate decision, stay in the relationship or get out. From the last court date I guess the decision was made, who would have ever thought the woman you called mom and the mother you protected most of your life would choose that kind of life. But it stops here, I am done with it and I wish her well on her journey and ? hope she takes the time to find herself and realizes that no one can do it for her. I have thought and I have cried many times thinking about the one whole side of my family who walked away and turned their backs on me for taking a stand and being the King of my household. But I am in a better place now and I was then I just was not looking in the right places Psalm 91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the almighty. His shelter is our refuge and there is nothing that can penetrate it, no abusive adult, no war, no disease, no financial downfall, no broken relationship, nothing. I will dwell in the shelter of the lord! My family Missy, Sully the Hampton's and the awesome Clark's and Burkheimer's who have accepted me as I am. For the first time I feel comfortable in my own skin, I don't look for acceptance from anyone and I try not to doubt myself anymore. So did life throw another curve ball? Yeah and I survived because I finally built my house on a solid foundation and I will push ahead leaving the past, to become the minister and the man that Christ has ordained!

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